Their is a quote that says "have eyes to see good in people, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad and a soul that has faith in God".
But how much can a person endure? When time and time again you've looked past the bad and forgiven the worst and forgotten how much the hurt, hurt you. We set it all aside but we're human and can't help reminisce when the circumstances resurface, and as long as you've gotten the opportunity to clear the air from relieving these emotions out loud, we often expect a change. But, more often than not, these circumstances reoccur and you come to the point where you have to ask yourself when is it enough?
I believe that people WANT to change, and so they do. They CAN'T just change if they are listening in the intent to reply and not understand. I've found myself going in circles with situations that begin in a manner where I have to express my hurt but I'm never understood. Instead, I'm treated like a crazy person who must make these negative thoughts up in my head and therefore become a negative, low self-esteemed person.
I have dreams and goals and have had to set them aside to be a full-time mother and home maker because my children come first. I am blessed that I can do this without a doubt. I thank God for this everyday. However, the minute you embark in a partnership and are married, each party has a responsibility to their duties: the woman: the homemaker, the man: the provider. Their is no one way street here. It's a team that works apart to making a powerful "together". At the end of the day, a man leaves his office, and puts it to rest until the following sunrise. For a stay-at-home mom, the job is around the clock, even in our sleep we are often woken up by a crying baby or a child who has had a bad dream. It never stops for us. We look forward to an adult conversation, and wonder what is happening in the outside world aside from these four walls, and the feedings and the play time and the baby talk. Most men don't understand this. We'll become bitter and angry when we are not acknowledged, or supported or involved in anything but these children; trapped. Designated babysitters, prisoners in our own homes.
And often, in a quarrel, men think that they need to teach a woman a lesson by cutting out their expenses because they have the power to do so as they are the financial provider. Instead, they can take the time to sit and explain the finances and provide an allowance to their wife, and allow her in on their scale of the food chain. We have a right to know this.
Begin a sentence with "how would you feel if... or I've been thinking of...what is your input?"... Men don't rush into marriage due to financial circumstances because their barbaric ways have them believe that you have to be established in order to move forward, and as privileged as this may sound, it would be nice to embark into something together. But give the woman her freedom and the support so she can show you that she too can be a success at something.
Point here, don't undermine a woman. Don't belittle her daily duties and tell her that she will never amount to anything because their is always something holding her back, and that's usually a man with priorities much different than hers. And that, is not a partnership. That's a narcissist. Men who leave their mom's home to start a new life with a wife and children, should focus on that. And bring to the table what you were taught to make a more harmonious life with your wife. If you're going to hold on to the cord, and you don't make any changes, rest assured that when a woman has had enough...she means it's ENOUGH!
